no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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