glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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