no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
