No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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