Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
