I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
