he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
