I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
