I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
