i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
