honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wow bdsm is so cute
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
