I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want her autograph on my taint
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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