You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
