so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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