Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
