Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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