so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
