there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
