Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
