Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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