I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
