Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I could make wine with my vomit
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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