Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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