Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
