What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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