theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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