we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
