Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
