i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
