i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
