im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
