We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
