With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
