Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
