If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
