Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
