Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
