so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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