But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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