break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
