He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
