Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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