I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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