I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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