Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
