Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
