why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
