The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
