Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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