is your mom at the bar?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize