Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
