Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize