you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She announced her abortion via fbk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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