I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
