now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
