I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
