I wish I could punch you in the face.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i believe in u and ur pee
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
