Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
