do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize