I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
